The Imaginary Ills of the Fleg Protest Orchestrator

man counting

Fleg Protest Orchestrator, sitting at a table, 
adding up his resentment bill with counters: 
3 Flegs down and no support from 2 associations, 
the MOD and the Royal British Legion,  make 5, 
and 5 make 10, and 10 make 20.


“Item, a preparative and gentle initiative, to soften, moisten, and refresh the attitudes of Flegs people – £500,000.”

What I like about my Chief of Police, is that his approaches are always civil.  All the same, Mr. Chief Commissioner, it is not enough to be civil, you must also be reasonable, and never, ever thwart the predomination of Loyalist people. We have enough to put up with – not seeing our Fleg day in, day out – 24/7 as that upstart of an American would say.

So  this month I have put up with 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 attacks on our Loyal Orange State, and 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12  discussions about a Shared Future on TV; and last month there were 12 radio phone-ins from traders in Belfast about losing business. Shopkeepers and Pub owners! I ask you! And I had to organise 20 processions. Processions, not parades Mr Police Commissioner. Which you escorted us on and are ending up in Court over! And then there was the G8. I am not astonished, therefore, that I am not so well this month as last. I shall speak to the Orange Order about it, so that they may set the matter right over the 12th.

He bangs a Lambeg over and over again. No one comes. He sees he is alone

My drum doesn’t make enough noise. It’s just as if I didn’t bang at all. They don’t listen.

Bang! Bang! Bang!





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